#unfiltered

Masks: we are all living behind one. Thanks to social media, our masks have gotten bolder, more beautiful, and most importantly, more deceiving. Working with college students (mostly women), this issue comes up every. single. day. We walk around daily struggling with relationships, jobs, weight, appearances, parenthood, money, and the list goes on. But we don't show other people that! Instead, we hop on Instagram, Twitter or Facebook and post pictures of ourselves in the mirrors at the gym, or our child laughing (for the 1 second that he laughed that day), or of the flowers our sweet {insert significant other here} gave us for no reason at all! Or we tweet about how much weight we have lost, or how in love we are, or how perfect our lives are, etc. etc.

And by we, I mean me; my mask is just as big and just as deceiving and that is sad. It is sad because I talk to women daily who are struggling with the same things I do but they think they are alone. It is sad because 90% of the time I think that I am the worst person/mom/wife/Christian/woman ever because I think I am the only one who doesn't do things perfectly. We suffer because we are not honest about our lives. We struggle because we are not honest about our sin. We struggle because we would rather hide behind a picture-perfect mirage than be honest about the harder parts of our lives. We suffer because we only show one-side and so does everyone else. We suffer because that is NOT what Christ has called us to.

We (I) are called to be humble. We (I) are called to be lowly. We (I) are called to be less so that He can be more. We (I) are called to be transparent. We (I) exist solely to bring glory to God and to live in such a way that others can come to know the Lord and the redemptive work He accomplished through Christ's death on the cross. If you were to look on Instagram or Facebook, there is no room for that. If you were to look at MY Instagram and Facebook, there is no room for that. We (I) are too busy painting the picture of people & relationships who do not need to be redeemed because they are already perfect! I am too busy bringing glory to myself. I am too busy making people and their opinions of me bigger than God. And I am too busy helping others do the same.

I post pictures on Instagram and Facebook because I want to show off my family. I post pictures of myself because I want people to tell me I'm pretty, or that I look great, or that they can't believe I've lost the baby weight! When in fact, I have not lost the baby weight nor has it been easy too; adding more self-image struggles onto years of weight and body-image issues. I post pictures or statuses about how good of a baby Levi is and how much I love being a mother. I do love Levi and I do love being a mother but there have been MANY times over the past 4 months that I have said (out loud) that I hated being a mother and that it was too hard (This coming from the woman who pleaded with God for a baby for well over a year). I post about things that make me seem like a good mother. When in fact, I have yelled at my baby in the middle of the night more. than. once. And how I wish it stopped there.

I have posted about how wonderful my husband and marriage is and how great we get along. I do love my husband, more than I ever thought I could love someone, but marriage is HARD. I am a sinner and he is a sinner and we struggle. We fight. We say things that we can never take back. And at the end of the day, things are not always better. Bet you have never seen that on my Facebook wall.

And here is the {worst} mask of all. I post Bible verses, and hymn lyrics, and blogs about how much I love the Lord and how wonderful being in ministry is. I post about how #blessed and #thankful I am. I post all sorts of articles about "staying away from idols" or "godliness" or "Biblical womanhood and self image." When in fact, there are days that I do not want to pray and I don't. There are days, and {painful to admit} sometimes weeks I do not read my Bible. There are days that I do not feel like going to church and being around other believers. And at some point, every single day, I choose myself over God. I choose what I want rather than what I know is right.

But not many people would know these things because my pride keeps me hidden behind masks. My pride prevents me from using my life, my struggles, my sins and my shortcomings as instruments to point others to Christ. My pride keeps me from proclaiming the redeeming love of Christ through my brokenness. What a waste.

Each of these horrible things I do, say, or think(and the million others I didn't share) are bad. They are sinful and, frankly, embarrassing. And no matter how hard I try, or how many "masks" I post, I cannot overcome them myself. But the GREAT news is, I don't have to. Christ wants me just the way I am: as the weight-consious, baby-yelling, prideful woman that am I. He wants me to come to him that way because even though I cannot fix myself, He can. So rather than continuing to fuel my pride and "fix" myself, I would much, much rather Christ fix me instead (thank goodness Christ doesn't post his work subjects on social media, right?)

"He must become greater; I must become less"

John 3:30

I created my "masks" through social media, so I figured I need to break them through social media as well. Join me.

#unfiltered

5 Questions to ask before posting to social media {Here is a great article to help with this issue!}